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Many parents, and teachers, face the problem of children backtalking to them on a regular basis. Back talk might be annoying and, at times, infuriating, but it’s a common side-effect of growing up and gaining independence. At all ages, children need a strong sense of personal power on an emotional level. When they can’t get it because we’re ordering them around or doing everything for them, they lash out with words. It’s a typical “fight or flight” response. While raising your voice to quieten them might work temporarily it is just a case of might over right at times. So follow a few tactics to ease the tension and make children backtalk less.

Good parenting tips


1.     Power to the children: Give children the opportunity to decide some things. Do not rule their lives entirely. Given them the right to choose their dress, activity and so on. This is positive power which definitely reduces negative power.

2.     Don’t order them around: Put yourself in your child’s shoes. Would like to be dictated and ordered around all day? So find ways to get things done without sounding like you are directing them all the time.

3.     Give them attention: Some children backtalk just to get attention from you. So spending quality time with the children can actually reduce arguments.

4.     Set rules: Make rules for the household or classroom which children need to obey. This sets limits and children will not backtalk as they need to accept the rules. Even adults need to adhere to the rules so that children do not find them biased.

5.     Don’t lose your cool: Maintain your cool at all times and don’t give vent to frustration. Sometimes kids talk back just to make you react. In which case simply walk away. So next time they know that if they talk back you are not going to react.


However, do not stifle the children by not letting them speak up. They need to be bold and confident enough to speak out their mind. It is the unreasonable backtalk that you need to control and not logical arguments. 

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